Da die Interessse immer so groß an meine Engagements, die ich nicht singe ist, muss ich wieder ein mal den Grund erklären. Dieses mal habe ich selbst einen Ring abgesagt, aber nicht weil ich krank bin. Am Ende April bekommen Vivi und ich zu unser großen Freude unsres ersten Kind. Es ist total ungeplant und ganz ehrlich ein Riesen Überraschung. Ich wollte nicht einen den größten Ereignisse, die mich geschehen wird, mit dem Frankfurter Ring verknüpfen. Also habe ich für den Anfang eines neuen Lebens statt das Ende der Welt entschieden.

Seeing as there is always such a great interest in my engagements that I will not be singing, once again I must explain the reason why. This time it is I who has cancelled, but not due to illness. At the end of April Vivi and I are joyously expecting our first child. It is totally unplanned and honestly an enormous surprise. I did not feel the desire to combine this immense event, that will happen for me, with the Frankfurt Ring. Thus, have I decided for the beginning of a new life instead of the end of the world.

The prolonged absence that has led to the neglect of my blog has several personal reasons which would be considered nothing but excuses to the unattached reader. Apart from an admission of pure laziness the problem of having what I feel to be worthy content has been the principle  reason of my neglect. Of course, my entry must provide some evidence to the contrary and I'm happy to justify this assumption.

I was just listening to a podcast on the internet which discussed the idea of the mental universe. The speakers were arguing that Idealism can be justified through quantum mechanics. Unfortunately, the argument was rather slow developing, but what really inspired me was the thought of how important it is to recognise the nature of the mental universe: essentially life.

What I hope to accomplish, at an allowable pace which will not bore any (if any) readers, is to explain why we need to emphasise the nature of the mental universe. Life is the greatest complexity of forces in the universe that is continually being exerted against entropy: the idea that when you leave your coffee on the table it will obviously get colder. Energy naturally disperses, but life amasses energy into creation to the extent that we can all look, feel and reflect upon the nature of the universe. This capacity is what evolution has developed into humanity. A real wonder that needs to be understood and appreciated for the benefit of all life.

In the darkened room of our Altbau apartment we hear the rain falling heavily in the courtyard. Into the last week of rehearsals for Tristan in Dortmund an ominous feeling of instability is assailing. We have been well here for the last two weeks, but Vivi leaves on Sunday and I the week after. One's rhythms once again are disturbed and are to be reestablished elsewhere among new faces. An attempt to maintain simple and strong characteristics help to mitigate the disorientation of daily life until a familiar pace is re-acquired. Characteristics that come from within and form a profile of identity. Very little of modern culture allows personal identity to mold, as its end is to dictate consumption of ephemeral materials. Being among so many people for brief periods of time brings the realisation of the necessity of concrete self recognition. And the goal of all this: to represent another to the anonymous.

I have suddenly realised the divine irony that our capacity to understand the demise of the earth's climate has led to the very cause of it's destruction. Must the Fool in Lear always be right?

In Dortmund for Tristan und Isolde rehearsals. Today is Ferragosto in Italy and in fact I've had the day-off rather unintentionally. Vivi has arrived and so life has much more depth and perspective. Returning to work hasn't been as shocking as I had feared, although working towards the premiere it will become more intense. It's early days yet.

The tyrannical representation of the production have an increasingly hideous effect upon me, to the point that I shudder when when stop and talk about the psychological processes of the characters. Of course,  going hard core in Germany is imminently expected, but I can't help but think about a production of Tristan and Isolde which purely portrays the individual psychological developments of the characters conscious and subconscious. So much of what we do comes from deep recesses of our mind of which we are unaware.

That is essentially my problem. My job is interesting on a solely artistic level. The expositional aspect of opera leaves me apathetic. I'm interested in the process, not the result. The process is art. The result is profession. That is why my job is the representation of art. I understand why some directors never watch performances of their own work.